Dear Daughter,

I wanted to write this letter to you for a long time. This one was suppose to happen before your sister’s wedding but some things are destined.

When you attended your sister’s wedding, you felt joy – loud, contagious, sparkling joy. And somewhere in between the laughter, the music, the rituals, there may also be a quiet ache. A strange emptiness. A feeling of something shifting forever.

Happiness and sadness are not opposites. Both can exist together.

That is the first truth about emotions.

In life, we don’t really experience events. We experience emotions attached to events. The same moment can feel magical to one person and overwhelming to another. What makes us human is not what happens to us but what moves within us.

Do you remember the day you saw the Avatar experience in Singapore and cried because it felt overwhelmingly beautiful? Or the day I scolded you and you felt so hurt that your body responded with fever? The disappointment you felt when you couldn’t repeat your success at the Spell Bee competition. The fear that rose in your tiny three-year-old body the first time you sat on a Ferris wheel.

Same girl.
Different emotions.

There are a few core emotions – Happy, sad, fear, anger, surprise, disgust – and from them bloom dozens of subtle shades. We don’t just feel sad; we feel lonely, depressed or ignored. We don’t just feel angry; we feel enraged, irritated or insecure.

Emotions are layered and learning to regulate them is not about suppressing them – it is about understanding them.

Let’s talk about the ‘Difficult’ ones

Anxiety – When anxiety loops, remember this: thoughts are not commands. They’re weather. You don’t argue with clouds – you wait, and the sky always changes. So will this.

Envy – it does not make you a bad person. It simply shows you what you desire. The key is this – let it inspire you, not make you bitter. If someone else shines, let it remind you that you can shine too.

Overwhelm – it is not weakness. It is your nervous system saying, ‘this is a lot.’ You don’t have to fix everything at once. Pause. Rest. Take one small step. That is enough.

Anger – Anger is often misunderstood but it is simply pain standing up for itself, it is usually hurt in disguise. It shows you that something matters to you. But here is the wisdom – feel the fire, without letting it burn down what you love. (don’t let it control your words). The power is in the pause between feeling and reacting. That pause is strength.

Heartbreak – This one will hurt the most. And sometimes, there is no lesson. Some wounds are simply proof that you loved deeply and honestly. Hold your own heart the way you would hold a child who fell – gently, patiently, without judgement.

How to regulate emotions

Don’t suppress them or pretend they don’t exist or distract yourself endlessly.

You regulate by:

• Breathing before reacting
• Naming what you feel (“I am disappointed” is powerful)
• Staying with yourself instead of abandoning yourself
• Allowing the wave to rise and fall

Waves drown only when we panic and fight them. Float. Your body knows how. You don’t need to be tougher, to become colder or rush into wisdom. Just stay aware and with yourself.

And listen carefully, my love – nothing you feel is permanent.
Not the fear.
Not the anger.
Not the ache.

Kabhi-kabhi saare jahaan mein andhera hota hai… lekin raat ke baad hi toh savera hota hai..

Love you always,
Mumma