Dear Daughter,

Friends are the lifelines we choose for ourselves. Sometimes, even stronger than relatives. Throughout life – school, college, work – you’ll meet many people. Some will stay, most won’t. And that’s okay.

Your world will look very different from mine. You may switch jobs, cities, even countries – far more often than I ever did. And with that, maintaining friendships will take more effort.

But here’s the thing: effort is the only way friendships survive.

First, understand what real friendship is.
A true friend celebrates your joys, understands your sorrows, gives you silence when you need it, and defends you even when you are not in the room. Friendship needs time, space, energy – and above all, nurturing.

Your school and college friends may start feeling distant as you grow, because you won’t share daily life anymore. But distance does not end friendship. A little effort sustains it. I wrote letters to my best friend for years – that simple act kept us close until life finally put us in the same city again.

In today’s world, friendships are harder to build, but whenever you find a good one, hold on to it. Don’t blame time, money or mood – because for the people who make you genuinely happy, you must find time.
Take that flight. Make that plan. Show up – especially when someone needs you. These are the moments that build unbreakable bonds.

And remember: real friendship is never a calculation.
Who called more, who planned last – none of this matters. Many friendships die because people start keeping score.

Also be mindful of the kind of friends you keep. You become the sum of the five people closest to you (cliché but true). Choose those who lift you, challenge you, and bring out the best in you. Let go of friendships that drain you or belittle you – they quietly eat away at your confidence.

Sometimes, even your good friends may be wrong. In that moment, choose your bond over your ego. I once let a friend take a long route while driving because proving I was right wasn’t worth hurting the friendship. That understanding is what kept us close.

Look for friends who can pull you out of self-doubt, sit with you in silence, make you laugh when you’re crying, understand your anxieties without you explaining them – and still hold your hand through it.

And be careful of those who belittle you in public and apologise in private. Repeated disrespect is not a mistake; it is a pattern.

Good friends aren’t perfect. But they make life lighter, brighter, and more hopeful. If you find even two such people in your lifetime, you are blessed. And for them – you should be willing to do anything, just as they would for you.

Next time, I’ll write to you about the power of having women friends. It’s a world of its own.

With love,
Mumma